The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
As shirtless as possible
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
