So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
