you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
