Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
