Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
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He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
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Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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