I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
