i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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