hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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