he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
