Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize