i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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