I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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