My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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