Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
