so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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