You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
