im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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