Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
