I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dicks are not precious.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
