I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
