listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
