Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize