I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
