I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize