Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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