did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
