now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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