I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
