I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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