he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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