I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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