We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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