Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
