I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
