I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
