Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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