There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
