The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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