Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
