Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
