you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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