im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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