There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
