He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize