he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize