It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
