Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
