Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
there is glitter all over my balls
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