under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
