Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm passing your future prison.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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