Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
