Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize