ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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