Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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