Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
