we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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