don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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