Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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