3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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